


A Catalyst and a Chrysalis

by stelladora



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-11
Updated: 2014-07-11
Packaged: 2018-02-08 08:51:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1934586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stelladora/pseuds/stelladora
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Much to Sebastian's surprise, Ciel shows great enthusiasm for his new puppy. Meanwhile, much to Ciel's surprise, Sebastian falls ill.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Catalyst and a Chrysalis

Ciel despised dinners with business associates. The mundane conversation, the awkward pleasantries, everyone pretending that they were there for a reason other than a chance at promotion…the entire charade bored him, and yet here he was, throwing a dinner for three prominent managers of his London factory. Sebastian had, naturally, pulled out all the stops, and the meal was both beautiful and delicious, as Ciel’s guests insisted on reminding him every ten minutes.

It was the third course, and Ciel’s patience was wearing thin. Mr. Murray, the financial overseer, had been regaling the other men with tales of his recent hunting exploits. The other guests seemed entertained enough, which prevented Ciel from changing the subject, even though he’d never been fond of hunting.

“Yes, I still maintain that there’s a lot a master can learn from his dogs. After all, they’re the ones who chase down the bloody prey, aren’t they?” Murray said with a loud laugh. “I’ve said it before and I’ll say it a hundred times: you’re not going to catch anything if your dogs aren’t in their prime. A bitch of mine just had a litter, and you can bet that I’ll be training them hard as soon as they learn to walk. Well, speaking of, Phantomhive,” Murray said, turning to Ciel, who pulled his thoughts away from the pending dessert course and back to the present, “I was thinking that maybe you’d like to take one of them off my hands, start your own little pack. You’re sixteen now, my son was already a magnificent hunter by your age! It’s a gentleman’s sport, you know; _refined_ , but it gets the blood pumping like no other!” Murray let out his customary hearty laugh, and the others at the table joined in.

“Thank you very much, Mr. Murray, but I couldn’t possibly—” Ciel began to refuse politely, but Murray cut him off.

“Nonsense! I’ll bring one of them over as soon as they’re weaned. That’s another thing, you absolutely _cannot_ let the pups spend too much time by their mother’s side. It ruins their sensibility, you know…”

Murray continued to impart his extensive knowledge of hunting and dog breeding. Ciel endured it as best as he was able, but changed the subject when Sebastian brought them the final course. The remainder of the evening was tolerable, with light talk of business when the four of them retired to the drawing room. By ten o’clock, Ciel was seeing his guests out at the front door of the manor.

“I was serious about that dog, Phantomhive. You’ll have him within a fortnight, I should think,” Murray said as he got into his carriage. Ciel opened his mouth to, once again, refuse the gift, but Murray stopped him. “Come now. You’ll enjoy having it, I promise you. Nothing brightens up a house quite like a dog. Goodnight then, Phantomhive,” Murray said as the carriage drove off, leaving Ciel alone on the gravel driveway. Exasperated, he retreated back to the house and ordered Sebastian to draw him a bath.

 

Two weeks later, one of Murray’s footmen brought the puppy to the Phantomhive manor in a basket. “Mr. Murray apologizes that he couldn’t be here himself, but he had important business to attend to,” the boy said. Ciel dismissed him with a terse thanks, then turned his attention to the dog.

“A beagle. Known for their keen sense of smell and used primarily to hunt hare,” Sebastian reported as Ciel knelt down by the basket. The pup was exuberant, and wagged his tail when Ciel petted him. “What will you name him, my lord?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t given it much thought,” Ciel admitted, the corners of his lips turning up in an unconscious smile. “What would you suggest?”

“The only dog name I know is Cerberus,” Sebastian said with a smirk. The beagle was vastly unlike the three-headed guardian of Hell, but he barked and wagged his tail when Sebastian spoke.

“Cerberus?” Ciel repeated. The dog turned to him expectantly. “I think he likes that.”

“Will you be training him as a hunting dog?” Sebastian asked, looking down at the puppy with clear disdain. It was no secret that Sebastian didn’t like dogs, but he wouldn’t say anything since his master seemed to enjoy the beast currently jumping all over him.

“Of course not. I hate hunting. I’ll train him as an ordinary pet. This will be a good distraction, don’t you think?” Ciel said, standing up. Between the company and the Queen’s orders, Ciel was naturally overworked often stressed. Having a dog would certainly provide a useful distraction for him. “Come, Cerberus,” Ciel said firmly, leading the dog through the French doors to the grounds behind the manor.

Sebastian watched from inside while Ciel set about training the new dog. He hadn’t expected his young master to begin the task so readily, and was surprised by Ciel’s eagerness. It was good to see the sullen little boy’s dreary disposition alleviated, if only for a short time. Sebastian smiled to himself, turning away from the window to resume his daily tasks.

 

In the ensuing weeks, Ciel spent much of his free time with Cerberus, teaching him how to sit, stay, and come when called. The dog was enthusiastic and quick to learn, and Ciel rarely had to raise his voice. Sebastian hadn’t known that Ciel was good with animals, and was surprised to see such a carefree side of him; he’d only ever known his master to be serious, often to the point of suppressing his childish tendencies. While playing with the dog, Ciel was at ease, and smiled more than Sebastian had ever believed was possible for him.

“Your spirits seem to be greatly improved of late,” Sebastian remarked one night while retrieving Ciel’s nightclothes from the wardrobe. The boy insisted on having Cerberus sleep in his bedroom, and had brought the basket up in order to make a bed for the dog.

“I haven’t had much work from the Queen lately. Nothing that takes a large amount of effort,” Ciel replied, swinging his feet gently while he sat on the end of his bed.

The dog padded up to Sebastian, looking up as if expecting to be petted. “Excuse me,” Sebastian said as he sidestepped the animal, returning to Ciel and beginning to undress him for bed. Cerberus leapt onto the bed next to Ciel, who ran his hand over the dog’s tricolor coat. Sebastian looked with disdain at the dog, whose fur was already covering the pristine sheets of Ciel’s bed. “Young master, I don’t believe it wise to allow the dog to sit on your bed,” Sebastian pointed out, barely concealing his distaste.

“It’s fine,” Ciel insisted, sitting up properly and allowing Sebastian to undress him.

Sebastian smiled and shook his head a little. “I never would have expected you to be so indulgent,” he said playfully. “Murray was right. ‘Nothing brightens up a house quite like a dog.’”

Ciel blushed a little and frowned out of habit. “I don’t know what you mean,” he mumbled. Dressed in his nightshirt, Ciel bent his head forward while Sebastian untied his eye patch, then got under the covers. Cerberus curled up at the foot of the bed, and Sebastian knew it would be useless to try to convince Ciel not to allow it. “Goodnight,” Ciel said as Sebastian picked up the candlestick, stealing the light from the otherwise dark room.

“Goodnight, young master. I’ll wake you at eight tomorrow morning,” Sebastian said as he bowed and headed for the door. Ciel made a disappointed grunt in response, then curled up in bed and closed his eyes.

As Sebastian left the room, his expression darkened. For the past few days, a change had come over Ciel. The boy had been _happy_. In all the years that Sebastian had known him, his young master had always been angry, irritable, and bent on revenge. That was what attracted Sebastian to Ciel’s soul. Without those emotions, Ciel Phantomhive’s soul would be as bland and unremarkable as anyone else’s. In allowing Ciel’s happiness, Sebastian was poisoning his own meal. What made Sebastian worry most, however, was the fact that he didn’t mind it. After everything that had passed between them, all the planning and waiting on Sebastian’s part, to lose Ciel’s soul now would be infuriating…but at the same time, Sebastian felt that seeing Ciel happy was better than anything else could be. The two possibilities rolled through his mind, and Sebastian couldn’t make sense of his own conflicting emotions. Never in all the millennia of his existence had Sebastian faced a conflict like this, and the irregularity concerned him. If he didn’t want Ciel’s soul after all, what kind of demon would he be?

The lack of rigorous orders from the Queen meant that Sebastian didn’t have to go out at night on Ciel’s orders, and he could get some sleep when he was finished with the night’s work. As a demon he was obviously accustomed to sleepless nights, but getting a few hours’ rest was a welcome luxury. Early the next morning, however, when Sebastian woke, he felt disoriented.

As he rose and dressed, Sebastian wondered what could have caused such a change within him; his head ached, and his stomach felt like it was in knots. Demons rarely fell sick, and it was such an infrequent occurrence that Sebastian was not even certain what could have brought it on. Nevertheless, he went about his morning duties to the best of his abilities: waking the servants and setting them to their own simple tasks, preparing breakfasts, and eventually going upstairs to wake his young master, tea in hand.

Cerberus lifted his head when Sebastian entered the room, and the butler nodded to him in greeting. “Young master, it is time to wake up,” he said, setting the teacup and saucer on the boy’s nightstand before going to the window to open the curtains. Ciel grumbled as usual, but eventually sat up, reaching down to pet the dog near his feet. “Today you have a lesson in the natural sciences from Mr. Grierson, as well as a letter—”

“What’s wrong with you?” Ciel interrupted him as Sebastian carried a suit of clothes over from the wardrobe. When Sebastian only cocked his head in confusion, Ciel narrowed his eyes. “You look…tired.”

“It is nothing to worry about, young master. I assure you it will not affect my abilities,” Sebastian said, beginning to dress his master for the day. Whatever was wrong with him was nothing he couldn’t handle, and he hated to worry Ciel over it. It came as a surprise to him, however, that Ciel would be so keen to notice the small change in his demeanor. He dressed his master and gave him breakfast in the dining room before accompanying him to his study. As had become customary, Cerberus was sent outside with Finny, who played fetch with him while attempting to tend the gardens.

Ciel and Sebastian each saw to their respective obligations for the day, their paths crossing frequently. Now, when Sebastian brought his young master tea in the afternoon, Ciel thanked him with a smile rather than the usual terse complaint. _His attitude is truly improved_ , Sebastian thought as he prepared the master’s dinner. The question that had arisen in his mind the night before plagued him all day, along with his strange uneasiness. Where did he stand now? His objective when it came to Ciel Phantomhive was no longer clear to him. Which did he want, the boy’s soul or the boy’s happiness? Sebastian’s mind was occupied all day, and his condition didn’t improve.

Later, while Sebastian knelt in front of Ciel to dress him for bed, Cerberus sat at Sebastian’s feet, nuzzling him to ask for attention. Exasperated, Sebastian removed his hands from the buttons of Ciel’s shirt and turned to the dog. “Excuse me, I must ask that you leave me to my work,” he said, gathering all his patience.

Above him, sitting on the bed, Ciel laughed, a sound Sebastian wasn’t accustomed to in any context other than derision. “Cerberus, go lie down,” Ciel said to the dog, who went to his basket in the corner. “Even he can see you’re not feeling well,” Ciel added, turning back to Sebastian. “You’ve never been sick before. I didn’t know it was possible,” Ciel said, frowning as he shrugged out of his shirt.

“It’s a rare occurrence. In truth I am not sure of the cause…” Sebastian murmured, pulling the nightshirt over Ciel’s head. He smoothed the white fabric, his fingers lingering absentmindedly on the boy’s skin.

“Figure out how to fix it,” Ciel said stubbornly, his old pout on his face as he leaned into Sebastian’s familiar touch.

The corners of Sebastian’s mouth lifted in a small smile as he stood up, taking Ciel’s clothes with him to be laundered. “I will certainly do my best. Is that all, young master?” he asked as he stood up and pulled the covers back so Ciel could get into bed.

Ciel nodded, looking up at him with a flicker of concern in his eyes. “Yes. Goodnight, Sebastian.”

 

The next morning, Sebastian felt even worse than previously. In addition to the throbbing in his head and the constant fluttering of his stomach, his muscles ached and he felt dizzy and had to concentrate on where he was walking, lest he fall. As he brought Ciel’s tea upstairs around eight o’clock, he stopped in the corridor a few steps from the boy’s bedroom, attempting to steady himself. As he closed his eyes in an attempt to force away the sickness, Sebastian felt his body pitch forward.

Ciel lay in bed, awake and trying to savor his last few minutes before Sebastian entered. Hearing a loud thud and the musical tinkle of china breaking, Ciel opened his eyes and sat up, alert. In one ridiculous second, all his old nightmares returned to him. Had someone broken into the manor? Where was Sebastian? What was going on? The dog had apparently heard the noise as well, and stood up from his basket to bark loudly at the door. “Cerberus, quiet,” Ciel ordered, his voice shaking. “Sebastian?” he called out, wondering why the butler hadn’t come to wake him. It was a few minutes past eight, according to the clock in his room, and Sebastian was always perfectly punctual. There was silence, which was again uncharacteristic of Sebastian, who always came when called.

With trepidation, Ciel got out of bed and quickly put on his dressing gown before going to the door. Cerberus darted out ahead of him and careened down the corridor, barking shrilly until he came to a stop at Sebastian, unconscious among the shards of a teacup. Ciel gasped, his mind going haywire. Who on earth could have done this to Sebastian? He knelt down by the man’s side, shaking his shoulders roughly in an effort to wake him. “Sebastian! Wake up!” Ciel said in a panic.

Relief flooded Ciel as Sebastian’s eyes flickered open and focused on him. “Excuse me, young master,” Sebastian said, his voice weak. “I didn’t mean to cause a commotion. I’m…not sure what came over me. I must have collapsed.”

Ciel carefully guided Sebastian up into a sitting position, unsure of what to do. Obviously there was no intruder, but Sebastian’s illness was almost as disconcerting. _What would he do if I were ill?_ “You shouldn’t be up if you don’t feel well,” Ciel said, chastising him.

Knowing full well he couldn’t lie to his master, Sebastian didn’t attempt to dismiss or make light of his condition. “Who will see to everything if I am laid up?” Sebastian asked, knowing that work should come before anything else.

“I’ll have Tanaka do it. He won’t mind. Get up,” Ciel said, his fear making him terse and serious. Cerberus sniffed around the floor where the tea had spilled, and Ciel shooed him away, knowing Sebastian wasn’t fond of the animal.

“If you insist,” Sebastian said, slowly rising to his feet. Ciel stood by his side, watching the butler carefully. When he noticed that Sebastian’s steps were shakier than usual, Ciel put his hand in Sebastian’s without a word, supporting him as they walked through the manor to the wing that held the servants’ small bedrooms.

After what seemed like an eternity, they reached Sebastian’s bedroom, which hardly looked lived-in at all, aside from its pristine cleanliness. Sebastian sat on his bed and removed his tailcoat, then carefully took the pin off of his lapel and held it out to Ciel. The pin marked him as the butler to the Phantomhive family, and he wouldn’t need it while he was unable to perform his job. Ciel held it in his palm, at a loss for words momentarily.

“How do I… Well, I mean, I can’t exactly call up a doctor, can I?” Ciel mumbled. A normal physician would do no good, considering Sebastian wasn’t human. It would only lead to questions and more trouble. Ciel was at a loss, and he briefly reflected on the fact that, without Sebastian, he wasn’t of much use to anyone.

“It’s alright,” Sebastian said softly. “I’ve never known a demon to die of a cold,” he added. Ciel rolled his eyes, attempting to keep up the usual banter between them. “I apologize sincerely for causing all this trouble.”

“Yes, well, I suppose I’ll have to go and tell one of the others to clean up the mess in the hallway. You’d better get well soon or they’ll wind up destroying the place,” Ciel warned Sebastian. He paused, looking over his usually stoic butler. “Just…get some rest or something,” Ciel mumbled on his way out.

Worry clawed at his stomach as Ciel made his way down to the servants’ hall to speak with Tanaka, who assured him that everything would be taken care of. Tanaka helped him dress and laid out his breakfast, which Sebastian had already prepared, while Ciel ran through possible scenarios and tried to determine what to do.

Halfway through the morning, realizing that he was doing nothing more than staring at the documents on his desk, Ciel resolved to push all thoughts of Sebastian out of his mind. Nothing would come of worry, and Sebastian had always survived every injury he sustained no matter how gruesome. _If he doesn’t improve by tomorrow, I’ll find someone who can help,_ Ciel told himself before buckling down and scanning over the financial reports from his French factory.

Late that evening, after a simple dinner thrown together by Bard, Ciel sat in the drawing room with a book open on his lap, Cerberus lying at his feet. As his tired eyes scanned over the words of the mystery novel, he heard the door open. Sebastian approached his armchair, looking slightly disheveled and pale.

“What are you doing?” Ciel asked him. “You’re supposed to be resting.”

“Forgive the intrusion, young master,” Sebastian said, his voice devoid of its usual life. “I only wanted to…come make sure you were alright after such an unorthodox day.” Sebastian sounded as though even he was confused as to the reason for the visit.

“Of course I’m alright, I’m not the one who’s ill,” Ciel said, looking over Sebastian. “Sit, you look terrible,” he added, gesturing to the chair opposite him on the other side of the fireplace. The flickering light did nothing to improve Sebastian’s aspect; this was a startling contrast to the butler’s usually pristine appearance. Even after the most tiring excursions on the Queen’s behalf, Sebastian never showed any sign of exhaustion. “You shouldn’t be out of bed, should you?” Ciel asked as the man sat down obediently. It was unheard of that a butler should sit so informally with his master, but Ciel had never been one for propriety, especially when it came to Sebastian. “I… You’re making me worry about you,” he mumbled, a blush creeping across his cheeks.

“You’re worried about me?” Sebastian chuckled, his voice barely above a whisper. The air between the two was tense, and Sebastian cleared his throat, ashamed of his own indecorous behavior. “I’m still not sure what’s wrong, but it seems to be getting worse,” Sebastian reported, his gloved fingers digging into the upholstery of the armrests. He wished, for once, that he could lie to his master and reassure him that everything was fine.

“Sebastian…” Ciel stopped, noticing that his voice was trembling. What would he do if the person who’d always been there for him _couldn’t_ be there? Ciel felt powerless, and frustration boiled inside him. “I think we should take you to your room,” he said quietly.

“Yes, that sounds like—” Sebastian broke off, groaning in pain and closing his eyes against a sudden dizzy spell. One hand gripped the arm of the chair and another cradled his stomach as he doubled over. He gasped shakily for breath, his face contorted in pain.

Ciel watched helplessly for a second before snapping into action. Shooing Cerberus out of the way, Ciel tugged urgently on the cord that rang the bell in the servants’ hall. It was clear that Sebastian couldn’t walk like this, and there was no way Ciel could get him halfway across the manor by himself. “I’ll have you taken to your room,” Ciel said, kneeling by the side of the armchair. “Then I’m going to London. I’ll find someone to help you. Someone who knows about…”

The door opened before Ciel could finish speaking, and Finny stood in the doorway, shocked by the scene in front of him. Before he could say anything, Ciel spoke urgently, “I need you to carry him to his room. He’s unwell.”

It only took Finny a second to grasp the situation and, to his credit, didn’t waste any time asking questions. All of the servants knew of Sebastian’s illness, but Finny was still obviously shocked to see his boss doubled over in the drawing room. Nevertheless, he did as he was told, using his superhuman strength to carry Sebastian to the servants’ quarters. Ciel followed, trying to keep his expression clear of the distress he felt. While Finny eased Sebastian down onto the bed, Ciel stood near the door of the small, white room.

“Thank you. Get the carriage ready. You’ll have to drive,” Ciel said, clearing his throat in an effort to stop his voice from trembling. Something was severely wrong with Sebastian.

“Young master, what’s going on? Shouldn’t we call for a doctor?” Finny asked timidly, unaccustomed to seeing his master so discomposed.

“No. You should do as I say,” Ciel said firmly, standing up to his full height. Them staying at the manor and fretting would do Sebastian no good now, and Ciel resolved to help in any way he could. Finny nodded and left the room quickly, leaving Ciel behind.

“Young master,” Sebastian said softly when they were alone. “It’s late. Wait until morning to—”

“You’re not the one giving orders,” Ciel reminded him sharply, all his nervousness manifesting as anger. “I’m going to London and I’m going to find out what the hell is wrong with you.” Ciel took a deep breath and timidly walked forward to Sebastian’s bedside. The silence between them was heavy as Sebastian looked up at him with listless eyes. “Demons can’t… You can’t die, can you?” Ciel asked, all the annoyance and confidence drained from his voice.

Sebastian smiled weakly, resisting the impulse to take Ciel’s hand and comfort him. “Anything can die, young master,” Sebastian reminded him.

“Don’t say such unlucky things,” Ciel reprimanded him, frowning. There was another second of silence in which Ciel struggled for words. _I don’t want to be alone again. I need you to stay with me._ “I’ll be back in a few hours. Get some sleep.” Ciel turned away and headed for the door decisively.

“Yes, my lord,” Sebastian said as he watched Ciel go. He did his best to ignore the pain in every inch of his body and tried to sleep.

Ciel and Finny left the manor in the other servants’ care as they set off for London in the early hours of the night.

 

The drive to London took a few hours, and it was fully dark when Ciel and Finny arrived. Despite that, Ciel knew that Undertaker would be available. He entered the shop after giving Finny the order to stay put with the carriage in the street. “Undertaker? Where are you? This is urgent,” Ciel called out through the dark shop.

There were a limited number of people Ciel could turn to when it came to discussing demons, and Undertaker was the only one with a permanent address. Ciel had resigned himself to jumping through all sorts of inane hoops in order to help Sebastian.

“Oh, hello, earl. What brings you here at this late hour?”

The disembodied, undulating voice seemed to come from all sides, and Ciel frowned as he stood in the middle of the room.

“I require your assistance. It’s about Sebastian.”

Candlesticks standing on coffin lids suddenly illuminated, and Undertaker opened one of the coffins from the inside and smiled at Ciel. “Yes, where is your precious pet? On some mission for the Queen, no doubt. You should really start doing your own work. Inactivity will cause you to waste away to nothing,” he said in his lilting voice.

“I don’t have time for your idiotic games. He’s ill. I need to know how to help him,” Ciel said tersely.

Undertaker sat himself down on one of the caskets and gestured to the one across from himself, offering Ciel a seat. “My, my. Things must be dire if you’re turning to me. A demon falling sick…that is a rare occurrence indeed. What are his symptoms?”

“He’s in pain. He can’t do anything other than lie in bed,” Ciel reported. “It could be some sort of…parasite or something.”

Undertaker giggled at that. “Demons are parasites themselves, you know. Perhaps this is normal.” Ciel just rolled his eyes at that. “But I wonder why you’re so desperate to help him? Surely you should be glad that your executioner is dying.”

“He’s _not_ dying!” Ciel insisted vehemently.  Undertaker had brought up a good point; if Sebastian died, Ciel’s soul would remain intact. But the prospect of losing the one person who had been by his side and protected him for years filled Ciel with terror, more so than the prospect of losing his soul.

“What else could it be? Demons are impervious to all earthly ailments. It certainly is a death of some sort,” Undertaker reasoned with a happy shrug.

“What do you mean, ‘of some sort’?” Ciel asked warily.

“Very few things can kill a demon. I doubt he’s had a run-in with a death scythe recently,” Undertaker said, cocking his head to the side in thought. “Now I wonder…but that’s just a myth…” he murmured, clearly baiting Ciel.

“What is it?” Ciel demanded, losing his patience.

“Would you mind removing that eye patch, earl?” Undertaker asked sweetly.

“Why?” Ciel demanded petulantly. Undertaker gave no answer, just waited patiently. With a huff, Ciel complied, untying the strings around his head and blinking his exposed eye against the candlelight.

“Hmm. Very strange indeed…” Undertaker murmured as he gazed at the eye that bore the seal of Ciel’s contract with Sebastian.

“What’s wrong?” Ciel asked, furrowing his brow. His eye didn’t feel any different, but the gnawing worry in the pit of his stomach intensified with Undertaker’s vague words. The other man produced a small mirror from the workbench behind him and held it up for Ciel to look into.

The usually vivid pink contract was now a dull blue, barely discernable from his real eye color. _The contract is fading…?_ “Is he really dying?” Ciel whispered, feeling like a child lost in an unfamiliar place. Without Sebastian, he _would_ be lost.

“I don’t think so. This is something much worse,” Undertaker said dramatically. “Sebastian is turning into a human.”

Ciel froze for a moment, processing what he’d just heard. “That isn’t possible,” he shot back.

“No, I wouldn’t have believed it either, but the proof is right there,” Undertaker said, jabbing his finger at Ciel’s right eye. Ciel pulled away in distaste. “It’s something of a myth in certain circles. The theory is that a demon can become human, but it takes a significant amount of…shall we say, emotional turmoil? If a demon questions their own nature enough to want to reject it, their nature will reject _them_. Everything that makes them a demon will be expunged, and nothing will be left except for a disgusting, ordinary human. However…this condition is almost unheard of,” Undertaker said.

“What would bring this on, if it were true? What part of his nature did he question—I mean, would he have to question?” Ciel asked, still in disbelief.

“Oh earl, do you really think I would lie to you?” This time Ciel gave no answer, and Undertaker only laughed. “Well…Demons don’t feel love the same way humans do, obviously. But in all the legends I’ve encountered, the demon places their charge’s well-being above all else. Above even their own appetites. An intense affinity for a member of the human race will—”

“Are you saying Sebastian is in love with me?” Ciel blurted out.

Undertaker chuckled, a sound that sent a chill down to Ciel’s bones. “That is a question you’ll have to ask him when all this is over. I don’t suppose it will be an easy recovery for him, though. It’s the equivalent of losing one’s soul, only instead of being ripped out, Sebastian’s is cracking and splintering. Unfortunately, the only thing to do is wait it out. Pity…I imagine it’s horrifically painful.” Ciel blanched, thinking about the state he’d left Sebastian in. The butler had never been one to complain of physical injury, but this seemed to be a hundred times worse than a mere gunshot or stab wound. “Are you going to run back to him now?” Undertaker asked with an amused smile.

Ciel stood, re-tying his eye patch despite the faded mark. “I suppose you want your payment,” he grumbled, not deigning to answer the question.

“Oh, no. You’ve given me quite enough amusement as it is. It’s a thrilling idea, that someone as scary as Sebastian could be so in _love_ ,” Undertaker giggled. A heavy blush spread over Ciel’s cheeks, and he left the shop without another word.

The boy’s head was abuzz for the duration of the drive home. If Sebastian became a human, their contract would be null. Sebastian might be furious, as it meant that he wouldn’t get the prize he’d worked so many years for. How much would Sebastian change when he was no longer a demon? There were too many questions and too few answers at the moment, and Ciel’s stomach churned with anxiety until they finally reached the manor. He bolted from the carriage, heading up to Sebastian’s room.

“Y-young master! Are you sure everything’s alright?” Finny called after him futilely.

_The less the servants know, the better,_ Ciel thought. _Soon we might not have to keep secrets._

Tanaka met him at the door, a gentle expression on his face. “Young master, running about so late at night is not good for you. I suggest you go get some rest.”

“I want to see Sebastian,” Ciel insisted as he entered the manor. The rest of the servants were gathered around the foyer, all with vaguely worried expressions.

“That’s a bad idea. He’s been screaming and making awful noises, says Emily,” Snake reported.

“But I _need_ to see him,” Ciel asserted, frustration burning inside him.

“He will be in a much better state tomorrow. It would be better for both of you if you waited,” Tanaka advised sagely.

Knowing he wouldn’t be able to get past the five of them, Ciel sighed heavily and allowed Tanaka to take him up to bed. Alone in the darkness, Ciel felt his thoughts creeping up on him and gnawing at his confidence. “Cerberus,” he called softly. The dog rose from his basket and jumped onto the bed, curling up in a spot near the pillows where Ciel could pet him. _Sebastian used to stay with me until I fell asleep_ , Ciel remembered sadly. Having Cerberus with him was nice, but it wasn’t quite the same. He lay awake in bed for hours, tossing and turning from side to side while worrying about Sebastian, and their future. In the early hours of the morning, Ciel thought he could hear shouting from far away in the manor, in the direction of the servants’ wing. It was frightening to think that Sebastian was in so much pain, and even worse to think that he couldn’t do anything to help. As if sensing Ciel’s uneasiness, Cerberus snuggled closer to him, and Ciel petted the puppy softly, eventually falling into a dreamless sleep.

When Ciel awoke, the full light of day was shining through the curtains. According to the clock, it was nearly noon. Ciel was glad for a chance to sleep in, especially after his late night excursion, but in the back of his mind he knew that had Sebastian been well, he wouldn’t have allowed it. Unable to rely on the telepathic link that he used to summon Sebastian to him, Ciel dragged himself out of bed and pulled the cord in the corner of the room to ring for one of the servants. After a few minutes, Snake arrived with one of his snakes lying across his shoulders, as usual.

“We were sent to help you because Grandpa Tanaka is busy, says Wilde,” Snake said in his usual soft tone. He went to the window and opened the curtains before retrieving Ciel’s clothes from the wardrobe. When he approached the side of the bed and saw Cerberus, he froze, and the snake on his shoulders hissed. “We don’t like that four-legged one, says Wilde,” Snake whispered.

“Cerberus, go lie down,” Ciel said, shooing the dog off of the bed. Cerberus obediently went to his basket, where he stared curiously at Snake. It was slow going getting dressed, as Snake hadn’t done it before. “How is Sebastian?” Ciel asked as Snake buttoned his shirt. “I thought I heard yelling last night.”

“Grandpa locked the door and didn’t let us see him. We also heard the bad noises. Mr. Sebastian must have been hurting very badly, says Wilde,” Snake said as he dressed his master. “It sounded like the noises someone makes when they’re tortured,” he mumbled. “Was someone torturing him?”

“No, of course not. Why would you ask that?” Ciel asked, furrowing his brow as he raised his chin to allow Snake to tie his necktie.

Wilde hissed and wrapped himself around Snake’s upper arm. “Hush, Wilde,” Snake said to the snake, his voice barely more than a whisper. He finished what he was doing and took a step back from Ciel, directing his gaze to the floor.

Impatient to see Sebastian, Ciel stood up from the bed and dismissed Snake’s disconcerting question. They walked together in silence back to the other side of the manor, then parted ways as Ciel went to Sebastian’s room. There was no shouting now, which must have been the reason the door was unlocked. Ciel entered tentatively, taking in the sight of Sebastian lying in bed, looking pale and completely exhausted. His black hair was even more of a mess than usual, and his customary tailcoat had been switched for sleep clothes.

Sebastian looked up when he heard the door open, and attempted to sit up when he saw Ciel. “Young master,” he said, his voice hoarse.

Ciel took the simple wooden chair that stood in the corner of the room and moved it close to the side of Sebastian’s bed. “I wanted to come see you last night when I returned from London, but no one would let me,” he explained sullenly.

“I asked Tanaka to keep you away,” Sebastian confessed. When Ciel’s expression clouded, Sebastian looked down at the white sheets and sighed. “I didn’t think it would be good for you to see me in that state. It…wasn’t pleasant.”

“How do you feel now?” Ciel asked, looking his butler over for any overt signs of distress.

“Comparatively well,” Sebastian said with an attempt at a smile. “I believe the worst of the transformation is over.”

Ciel nodded, glad to hear that Sebastian was better. After a pause, his brow furrowed in confusion. “Transformation? So you knew what was happening to you?” he asked.

“I only figured it out after you left. After I noticed…” Sebastian held up his left hand and showed Ciel the unmarred white skin. “And you’re not wearing your eye patch,” he added, his voice thin.

“Well there was really no point. Besides, Snake dressed me this morning,” Ciel said, rolling his two blue eyes. It did feel odd to have full use of both his eyes after wearing the eye patch so long.

“That explains a lot,” Sebastian said, chuckling weakly. “Come here.” Ciel hesitantly obeyed, sitting on the edge of Sebastian’s bed while the man retied Ciel’s necktie. “Who did you see in London? Undertaker?”

“Yes. I didn’t have many options,” Ciel said as he perched lightly on the mattress, feeling somewhat out of place in Sebastian’s room. “He said that…that this whole thing was caused by…” Ciel trailed off and exhaled sharply, collecting his courage. _We’ll have to talk about it sometime._ “Do you love me?” he asked abruptly.

Sebastian seemed to freeze, his eyes locked on Ciel’s, and a tense silence stretched between the two of them. “Yes,” Sebastian finally breathed. “I…apologize, my lord. It’s most unprofessional of me, and has indeed spawned certain complications… I won’t be able to protect you as well as I used to, I’m afraid, but I will do my utmost to ensure your safety, as always, and—”

“Sebastian,” Ciel said sharply, a smirk pulling at the corners of his mouth. “You’re babbling. I hope that’s not the sort of human you’re going to be. Otherwise, I’ll simply have to fire you.” Ciel smirked at him, then paused before asking, “When did all of this start?”

“To be perfectly honest, I am not certain,” Sebastian said. It has become the most apparent in these past few weeks. You’ve been much happier than usual, my lord. Your happiness began to mean more to me than the consummation of our contract.” Ciel’s gaze dropped, and he stared at his hands folded in his lap while his brow furrowed in thought. “I apologize if I’ve said something out of turn, young master,” Sebastian added after a heavy pause. “I understand the impropriety of this situation, and I assure you that I in no way expect you to return any of my feelings,” he explained gently.

“What if I do?” Ciel asked, blushing a deeper red and not raising his eyes. “I mean…You’ve been there for me for so long, so… I don’t think I love anyone more than I love you.” Despite fumbling with his words, Ciel’s sentiment was genuine, and Sebastian was reassured and touched by the boy’s words.

“Well then, I’m glad all of that agony wasn’t in vain,” Sebastian said with a laugh.  

Ciel smiled and hesitated a moment before gathering his courage and leaning in to kiss Sebastian lightly on the lips. It was an unfamiliar feeling, but certainly not an unpleasant one, and certainly not one he would hesitate to repeat. He pulled away after a second, a self-satisfied smile playing on his face. “Me too.”


End file.
